I am tired. Many of you probably nodded in silent agreement when you read that first sentence. In our modern culture, tired is not only a very common state of being, it has also become a greeting: "Hi. How are you?" "Tired." I've heard it and said it. I'm sure you have too. The sad thing for me is that just 3 weeks ago I was luxuriating in the lessons God taught me through cancer treatment about resting and being still with Him. I wrote about it here.
I know how wonderful and sweet unhurried time with Him can be, and yet how quickly I abandoned the practice as soon as chemotherapy was over. I even told people, "I am so ready to get back to my normal routine." What? Why? What was so great about driving all over the metroplex and going and doing so hard that I fought to squeeze in shower time much less meditation time. Why do I have to be undergoing cancer treatment to give myself permission to take a nap? Why do I have to be "sick" to give myself some grace? How could I forget the lessons I learned quicker than I forget what I walked into a room for these days? This point came crashing home to me after mowing the lawn this week and huffing and puffing to complete it - something I did all the time before my surgeries. I'm not the same person physically, although my strength and energy will come back over time if I gently work at it. But I am also not the same person spiritually. God has changed me in positive ways by deepening my faith and trust in Him and by giving me the time to sit and watch Him in action. I don't want to go back to "normal". I want to be better. I have missed sitting at His feet as I've commenced running on mine.
This short blog is meant to be an encouragement, especially to all those with active kids starting school. Some busyness can't be helped. But don't let it eclipse (get it? eclipse - sorry) your relationship with your Father. Just because it seems "normal" doesn't mean it's best. Romans 12:2 says, "And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect." (NASB) How can we determine what is good and acceptable and perfect if we are traveling the same speed as everyone else? I will wrap up this reminder to myself with this:
"There remains, then, a Sabbath-rest [that doesn't have to be just on Sundays, by the way] for the people of God; for anyone who enters God's rest also rests from their works, just as God did from his. Let us, therefore, make every effort to enter that rest, so that no one will perish by following their example of disobedience." Hebrews 4:9-11 (NIV)