The prompt: write on the word "only". The first thing that came to mind was the song "Only the Lonely" by the Motels.
So hold on here we go
Hold on to nothin' we know
I feel so lonely
Way up here
I tried to find something else to write on - anything else. But lonely feels like my reality right now. I didn't know if I could write it. I'm still not sure I can be this raw, especially because I have no bright shiny bow to tie this up. I don't have a happy ending yet.
The truth is, I have been lonely for connection for months. I am surrounded by people at church, work and school events, but it's all so surface. Where are the friends I can go deeper with? They feel lost to me now - swept away in a tsunami of circumstances, commitments and busy schedules. And now that my family is going through a hard time, they feel farther away than ever. I am heartbroken and I need someone to come sit on my couch. I need to cry over a cup of coffee or laugh and forget all about it over dinner.
I have tried casual invitations with no success. I guess I need to be more blunt. Just say, "I know you have a lot going on, but I NEED you." Sigh. But it feels awfully vulnerable to need a friend more than she needs me. I guess deep down I might really be afraid that if I bear my soul, the response would still be, "I'm too busy."
My prayer: "Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted." Psalm 25:16
I am joining Kate Motaung and other members of the Five Minute Friday community for our weekly writing adventure. To learn about Five Minute Friday, click here. This week’s prompt is, “Only.”