After a visit this week to my surgeon's office to have nipples tattooed on my reconstructed chest, I decided to cull through my humiliation and decide which moments held the most comic potential. 2017 challenged my faith, my fortitude and my family. But what was true for Job in the Bible proved true for me. "He will once again fill your mouth with laughter and your lips with shouts of joy." (8:21 NLT) With Jesus, and a God-given sense of humor I have overcome so much. So I present the top 8 most embarrassing things about having breast cancer:
1. I can no longer say I've never posed topless. And the paper thong I had to sport for the before pics lacked any kind of sex appeal.
2. The girls (both old and new) have been manhandled by more people than I ever thought possible. Does this jeopardize my status as a "good girl"?
3. The above pictured breast cancer awareness Snuggie. Just because...
4. Everyone who knows me knows they are fake.
5. The maintenance drug I have infused every 3 weeks gives me very impolite and inconvenient intestinal issues.
6. Having my nipples tattooed was a whole lot of topless - including what I can only describe as topless calisthenics (bending, stretching, squeezing) so the artist could see "how my breasts moved" before ink. It was all very normal.
7. Discussing aureola size and color with said tattoo artist flustered me. (Having the tattoos now is empowering, though. They are 3D and magnificent.)
8. Accidentally laying my bust on someone's arm because I have no nerve endings in them and therefore have diminished frame of reference for their place in time and space - is now a thing. Although, I did feel heat in one tiny spot on one boob during the ink sesh. Maybe that means I have a remaining receptor. Which gives whole new meaning to the phrase, "You're on my last nerve."
Well, I intended to give you a top ten list, but I can only think of 8. And you know what? I'm cancer free. So bring on the awkward! It's all worth it.
I want to encourage you all to visit Kelly Balarie at PurposefulFaith.com for more encouragement. You can also take part in her "Four Days to Fearless Challenge" by clicking here. I heard about Kelly on The Happy Hour with Jamie Ivey Podcast and her blog has quickly become one of my favorites.